bobcat

I saw this bicycle. It looked orange, matched the sky, I ran towards it. I saw it coming down the road, and in between there were two circles. They could have been my eyes. Maybe I saw myself between them. There are always maybes. Things I am not sure about. I saw the bicycle and then it came to me. So I got on.

We went towards this park where there are often skids drinking cans of Black Label. The light was orange and I could see that the clouds were getting wider and thinner. It seemed as though they were being stretched towards some other end. In a sense I was riding that bike to get to some other end. That bike and I went around for a long time. I was always using it to get from some diversion or another. I lived in this city where that park was on and off for a few years.

There were some women involved. They would cause me to get on that bike and ride towards them. Sometimes away from them. The sky was constantly orange when I was on that bike. I put cameras on it to record where I was going in case anyone wanted to see it at some point in the future. I showed it to some people in this other place where I was living. They thought that the hotel was a temple.

I wonder what could have become of that bicycle. But they come and go. The places I am going to seem to come and go. The people who inhabit the spaces where the bicycles compels me to ride come and go. Soon there will be a new place to go.

The password is go. All systems are “go”. I’m looking for a more efficient means to power this blood machine. It’s running on something else, something that I am finding harder and harder to mine, create, falsify. It comes from some reservoir that I know is non-renewable. I am always, it seems, seeking cleaner sources of energy. Perhaps this is what is compelling me to run, and if that is the case then all of this is some circular exercise of consumption and expense. It’s like filling up a container so I can see how fast it will empty. And to repeat this exercise until I find the perfect size of the exit hole that would allow a certain level of fluid to be maintained in the container while still filling what ultimately is an emptying vessel. I’m trying to find this level in this container so I can take a marker and make a line on the outside of the container to establish the event. This explains why I studied economics.

Equilibrium. If there is some point where balance is achieved, that’s where I need to be. I’ll go there. But to get there I have to ride all these fucking bicycles, two at a time, three at a time, one foot on the left pedal of one bike,. An ass cheek on the seat of another, and an unsteady hand trying to steer the third. The more bicycles I can ride at once the more interesting it is. In fact, if I can maintain a certain number of bikes running at the same time, that challenge can run parallel to the line drawing exercise I mentioned earlier. Scissors and markers.

When I was 7 I could read music. My teacher wanted me to compose something. She said I was good at it. I left that place when I was 10. I forget how to read music now. I tried to invent another means by which one could visually represent sound by a series of crooked and straight lines of different lengths and angles when I was 11. I was listening to Mr. Mister. I took those broken wings. I think Starship was next. They built that city on Rock. And roll. I took up the clarinet. Actually I wanted to play the drums. I left that place when I was 12. The next t place I went to didn’t have anyone to teach me how to play the clarinet. But there was an ocean in the backyard. You win some, you lose some.

Narrow lines, fissures, cracks in the wall, wrinkles. I can’t see anything without my glasses. If I look into a bright light I see bacteria. I think they are on my retina. I’ve never actually addressed this. It’s probably not the case. I like the thought of being close to my bacteria. The fact that I could actually see them just like that is highly appealing. Makes me think that I’m not just Human™ but human. Makes vision more interesting. Why trust one perspective and not the other?

Maybe I need to get another bicycle. Maybe if I had a new bicycle I could go somewhere suitably and equally as new. I have this friend who wants to settle down. Some girl dumped him recently. Such events tend to compel others to seek stability. He just might do it though. He’s full of surprises this guy. Maybe he just needs a new bicycle.

Bicycles are good that way because they are easy to steer. You can do so with the slightest movement. And your off in some other direction altogether. It doesn’t take that much effort to avoid a diversion. Just a slight twitch and you can go somewhere else entirely. Just a slight twitch and you can be someone else entirely.